Chandler was one of the first guys I hired after I sold my trampoline park company. His dad was a super successful CEO of a SaaS company and Chandler wanted to start making a name for himself outside of his dad's considerable shadow. Chandler told me one of the most important things in the job was to make sure he didn't get any special treatment because of his dad or use any of his dad's contacts to make progress in his career.
Chandler wanted to be "self-made."
I told him the truth. Anyone who says they are "self-made" is ungrateful to those who knowingly and unknowingly helped along the way.
No one reaches their full potential alone.
Everyone has mentors, guides, allies and even enemies that shape them into the full potential creator that they become.
A twitter post I recently did talked about a new book one of my mentors is releasing soon Rich Routines.
I got a ton of questions about how I was able to land a Billionaire mentor to help me out of the law as a lowly biglaw associate. Let me tell you how it went down.
The topic of finding a mentor is something I hit on in my upcoming book Man's Path to Purpose (hop on the waitlist for the book release here) a small passage from the book I'll be releasing in the coming months on where the concept of mentors come from and how its deeply embedded into our psyche.
As Odysseus is called away to fight in the Trojan war, he appoints his trusted friend, a guy named Mentor, to watch over a guide his son Telemachus while Odysseus is away at war. As enemies begin to descend on Odysseus’ kingdom in his long absence, The Goddess Athena, appears in the form of Mentor to encourage Telemachus to fight for his kingdom and live his destiny.
The story parallels my own life in a few key ways. As I was searching for a way out of law, a friend from the University of Chicago invited me to a dinner at his parents house. Despite it being the same night that I was supposed to go to a new associate dinner, I accepted the invitation. When I pulled up to the house, my jaw dropped. His parent’s house was the size of a small shopping mall, smack dab in the most exclusive neighborhood in Dallas.
When I met my friends parents they were the most welcoming people I had ever met. They thanked me for befriending their son and told me that they had heard nothing but great things about me. They asked how I was liking law practice and I truthfully told them that I hated it. He smiled and told me that he had a big corporate job out of college and also hated it. He said he was lucky enough to have a mentor that helped him find the courage to quit his job and strike out on his own. He said that without his mentor he never would’ve been able to do it.
Over the following months, I became good friends with Steve Houghton, who I later learned was a billionaire but the house gave me a decent clue to that anyway.
He taught me things like,
“Do something where if you’re right you get rich, if you’re wrong you don’t go broke.”
He taught me to
“Live the first ten years of adulthood like few will, so you can live the rest of your life like few can.”
And most importantly he thought that I was too talented to waste my life in a big law firm. He saw potential in me that I had yet to see in myself.
A few months later, when I told my dad that I was going to quit the law, he told me I was making a mistake. We didn’t speak for some time after that conversation (Like Telemachus not speaking to Odysseus for his extended time at war). Steve told me it would be a grand adventure (Mentor was there inviting me to take a more active role in my life and find my destiny.)
The biggest misconception in movies with mentors is this.
In my life, a mentor has appeared to give me encouragement on a journey that I’ve already begun. In movies, the hero waits around for the mentor to appear and tell the hero what his life can be.
Also, mentors are not saviors. They know the journey is too important to intercede and rob the hero of the struggle that helps them find themselves. In the darkest moments of my business life, Steve has never offered me a penny and I would never take it (to be honest I probably would have back in the day, but I’m glad I never had the courage to ruin the relationship in that way.) When the Goddess Athena appears to Telemachus to tell him to go in search of his Father (a metaphor to go in search of his true origin, the source of himself) she doesn't use her Goddess powers to tell Telemachus where Odysseus is. She knows that the search for his origin is just as important as finding it. The best mentors aid through encouragement not through intervention.
Mentors become the psychological center for the creator in their transformation from dependence on the default path to self-responsibility in creation.
Want more insights on finding mentors and pursuing your purpose? Join the waitlist for my upcoming book Man's Path to Purpose and be the first to get exclusive updates. Join here
The TLDR:
- No one is self made, so don't have that be your focus.
- Mentors encourage but don't initiate or interceded.
- Serve the mentor's interest first before seeking your own help (I helped Steve's son before Steve ever helped me.)
- When a mentor gives you advice do everything in your power to follow it and report back.
